Going back to my original start weight

Some time back I made a post about what number I was counting as my “start weight”.  And since I had started back to Weight Watchers after being gone for a few months that I had to a new start weight.  This start weight was lower than the first time I had gone into the WW.  Well this is just not working for me.  I am discarding 23.5 pounds lost that way.  I need to see that those pounds are gone too.  It will have me personally dealing with two sets of numbers.  I have been working on this for a long time.  When I think back to what I was before I see myself at my heaviest weight and gauge from there.  If I look at the number that WW has for me I feel like I haven’t done as well I truly have.  Though my WW card does state the lower number a few months back my leader acknowledged to the meeting group  I go to the higher number so that people would know I have lost more than is showing.  It made me feel good that she did that.  A lot of this battle is mental.  Sometimes we just need that extra boost. 

I have been struggling a lot in the last few months.  I do normally have some issues in the winter due to getting the winter blues and having trouble finding motivation.  So I need every little bit I can get.  I have had a couple wake up calls.  One being some pain in my knee that started in my sleep.  The other being inputting my weight into my e-Tools.  I didn’t realize how much I had gained over the holidays.  I had been hit and miss on eating, tried doing Simple Start but not being able to stick with it.  I need the structure of tracking at the moment.  Today is a new day.